The time a man tried to fight me

I’d consider myself a confrontational person. I personally think that it doesn’t get me into any trouble, as I know when to control it and how to use my love of debate and argumentation for the better. Because of this, it also means that when a close friend of mine is in some sort of ‘danger’, I’m likely to step in. And last Saturday, I did. 

It was our last ever summer ball at uni. There were drinks, fancy frocks, many a picture and a real happy time. The last thing I expected was to be squared up to by a fellow student – who was male might I add – and likely to be the same age as myself.

Said male, wearing sunglasses inside the tent at night time *rolls eyes*,  began to get a little too close for comfort to my friend and I must point out that she is in no way unable to defend herself, but this guy was relentless. After time and time again of my pal asking the guy to remove himself from her personal space, he got defensive, and fast. I wasn’t having any of it.

I stepped in and asked him what his issue was- which he pointed out was in fact with my friend. She was apparently being “all lary”, which I’ve never ever seen her do (<3 you!). I told him to go away, just as my friend had already done at least 10 times, but he got even more angry with me. I explained that he had no right to be annoying my friend in such a manner and it would be wise for him to just move away. He was accompanied by a friend – also male – who didn’t seem to care either.

It was at this point that things took an unexpected turn. He lifted up his sunglasses and asked me if I knew who he was. If anyone has ever been asked this, you know it’s not a true question of asking who they are. It’s a statement of, “I’m entitled and I’m privileged, and you are most certainly not”. I decided not to react to his undeserved privilege by actually replying, “No, I don’t know who you are. What’s your name?”. With hindsight, this probably pissed him off even more but I could not care less.

He began to edge towards me and squared up to me, placing his forehead and nose against mine with some brute force. He asked again and again and again if I knew who he was, and admittedly I shouted this time with the same reply but he was not giving up. Security guards inside the venue were too busy enjoying watching drunk girls dancing up against them to realise that I was in fact in need of their help. My friends tried to pull me away but I was not going to let this guy get away with it.

Still lifting his sunglasses up and down from his eyes, he pushed harder and harder up against my face until his friend realised just how much force he was actually exerting and began to pull him away. I didn’t cry, I didn’t even push back, but I wish I’d waved bye bye in my best sarcastic manner and reported him straight away. However, security would probably have blamed me for wearing a dress and that I was “asking for it”, thinking that in fact I was trying to get with the guy, but this couldn’t be further from the truth.

I had no idea what he would have done to me if his friend hadn’t eventually pulled him away. I hope that the pain I’ve felt in my forehead and nose for the last 4 days makes him realise just how embarrassing it was for him to be so scared that he thought he needed to fight me – a 21 year old woman – in order to prove his point.

It’s extremely uncomfortable to be in a position where a fellow student feels like they have superiority over you, particularly when he’s male. I’m not usually one to talk openly about feminism and gender equality, but this event has made me realise how disgusting it is to still be such an issue in the 21st century. How dare he think that he can push me and my friend into giving in, especially with physical force.

It took me longer than expected to write this post as I thought I’d have no issue writing about my hatred for that man. It’s helped me understand that I should actually stand up for myself more often- yes, I’m a confrontational person, but fully expect me to be even more so the next time you see me. Oh, and I might also have a bruised nose.

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We need to talk about miscarriage

One of my favourite vlogging families, the SacconeJolys, suffered a miscarriage today. It’s heartbreaking. Although I don’t know them, I can sympathise with how awful it must be to endure such an event when your entire life it posted online. But actually, I really admire their bravery. Their entire lives are documented on YouTube, and Anna and Jonathan have been brave enough to share their most intimate moments with us, including this one.

The miscarriage- regardless of whether it’s the SacconeJolys or anyone- is horrific. One in five pregnancies end in a miscarriage so why do we feel as if we’re not allowed to talk about it? Many women are washed with feelings of devastation, hopelessness and isolation, so why don’t we talk about it, in the manner we would any other health issue? We’re all more than comfortable in sharing the joy in our lives, but sharing sadness does not have “the time or place”. Is it down to fear? Is it fear that we’re seeking the sympathy vote? Unless you personally have lost a baby or been close to someone who has, you can’t just dismiss it as something to get over like a cold.

The real issue is that the physical and emotional impact of miscarriage are failing to be understood. Miscarriage is seen as a dirty world, veiled by flowers, cards and flat hugs. But that’s not enough. Only those who have suffered miscarriages themselves feel comfortable enough in sharing their experiences with others. We all need to talk about miscarriage, though. Discuss what happens, how it happens, how it feels physically and emotionally and the available support for sufferers. Sure, the medical terms have their time and place, but when your future plans of a family have disintegrated before your very eyes, the support, true sympathy and kindness is essential. From everyone.

Imagine if the circle of sufferers was no longer isolated. Imagine if that circle of sympathy widened and women knew that they no longer needed to feel embarrassed by miscarriage. Imagine is the circle converged with wider society and helped women to openly grieve for their lost child.

If you need help or have queries related to miscarriage, go to: http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/.

Image from: http://favim.com/image/429110/

Review: Batman v Superman

*Spoilers ahead*

I accidentally read a spoiler before seeing Star Wars: The Force Awakens and now I have to always tentatively read a comment thread on Facebook. It was totally unrelated- some guy just posted HAN SOLO DIES on some post about a puppy (probably). See how annoying that is? 

First up- Dawn of Justice has got a 9.4/10 on IMDB. It’s got Batman in it. AND Superman. It’s gonna be great, right? *shakes head*

I was SO excited to see this. Emphasis on ‘was’. With a boyfriend who’s been hardcore Batman since he was 3, it’s pretty hard to not be excited about what I thought was going to be such a massive movie. Oh, how I was wrong! Whilst I was a little apprehensive about Zack Snyder’s directing, I really really hoped that Ben Affleck would be great- AND HE WAS! HALLELUJAH! Henry Cavill on the other hand, well…he’s pretty cute.

I didn’t realise how bloody long it was. As a sufferer of osteoarthritis, sitting down for a prolonged amount of time is not good for my little ol’ knees. Despite many a snack distraction in the form of sweet popcorn and fruit pastilles, two and half hours was just too long, especially when you consider that those two and half hours consisted of a completely incoherent plot line. Alfred (played by Jeremy Irons) couldn’t have said it any better: “How best to describe it?”. FUCK KNOWS. 

We must consider though, that this isn’t a Batman film. It isn’t a fuck shit up kinda film in which Batman gets away with it all. It’s an attempt at a new DC, and also a battle Snyder is trying to fight with Marvel. Marvel’s been slaying it recently and DC doesn’t come anywhere close to currently beating them. I know that this film was meant to be the base for many a new DC film to come- we get a glimpse of the new Flash, Aquaman and Cyborg- but its ambitions are wildly exceeding its reach.

Given the new launch of a new Batman, we get a little refresher course in his origins, which we all know is set to be pretty heartbreaking. Not here ladies and gents! It’s dreamlike- which seems to be one of the only coherent plot lines throughout- and Bruce himself is resembling Christ as he’s taken up from a well by a group of flying bats. As you do. That opening is also the only insight we really get as to who Bruce Wayne actually is, which I’d just like to point out, is not Christ. Shame, eh.

The rest of opening credits are beautifully staged, however, with a tension-inducing shot of Martha Wayne’s pearls breaking as she’s killed, but as it progresses there’s only so many running through forests and scenes of coffins and sad faces under umbrellas that one can take. Unsurprisingly, it’s reminiscent of Sucker Punch and Watchmen, also directed by Snyder.

Now overall, I was expecting- as the title so rightly hints at- a big kick ass fight between Batman and Superman. Instead, we’re faced with a little handbags at dawn situation caused by none other than my favourite actor Mr. Jesse Eisenberg, who plays psychotic business owner and scientist (if you can really call him that idk), Lex Luthor. I’d just like to take this opportunity to say that Jesse was the best part of the film. Literally. I know I’m a lover of Eisenberg but he was superb. His character on the other hand- well, he wasn’t exactly fitting for a fight.

Luthor just doesn’t present himself as the right kind of villain to try to combat either Batman or Superman, and obviously doesn’t succeed. Instead, friendship prevails after many a petty tittle tattle between B&S. Luthor tries to instigate said fight after many a freaky dream sequence on Batman’s behalf and instead, fails miserably. Superman just cries for his mam, Batman gets angry (surprise, surprise), they become BFFs, Wonder Woman shows up- and no one really knows why- fight some big ass monster that Luthor created and Superman dies. Sort of. When you consider that that final scene alone probably took a good 30+ mins of the film, the monster- which too was incoherently created and far too mythological for the DC universe- could have surely just been killed in the first 5 mins of its existence with that bloody spear that Lois Lane was fucking about with, again without reason other than to look cool. Surely Superman- y’know, super strength man- could have flung it at said monster and hey, presto! Dead.

Whilst I’m being picky, is it really still the case that Clark Kent’s disguise is a pair of glasses. C’mon- I know it’s the original disguise blah blah blah but it’s 2016. Like, seriously. Also, why is no one taking everyone’s favourite little lady Edna Mode’s advice?

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My idol. ❤

I’ve realised now that there’s a hell of a lot more for me to be picky about… just imagine Bruce Wayne shirtless (stay with me here) hitting a tyre with a hammer. Got it? Okay, that happens. Surely he could afford some decent work out machines despite Wayne Tower toppling? If not, then how does he afford all this super high tech gear which suddenly appears? What happened to the little girl he ‘saved’? Is Synder trying to induce a wave of terror into the world? He kinda succeeds.

With 9/11 reminiscent in almost every shot, it’s more than enough when it comes to finding out that Superman is also being blamed for a suicide bomb attack on US soil. Just to keep the feels going.

Overall, I’d give it a 2/5. It sets the base for many more DC film to come, but it was boring, incoherent, and frankly not worth the rather expensive ticket.

For a more thorough breakdown of every single thing that’s wrong with Dawn of Justice, check out The Guardian’s review.

Images from screenrant.com and reddit.com but moaning and bitching provided by Daniel Smith. The hero. 

 

February Favourites

I know I’m a few days late for this but as the kids say these days, yolo.

1. Sia – 1000 Forms of Fear 
I know I’m a bit late (seems to be a recurring theme here) to the Sia hype, but my goodness this girl can sing. With my favourites being Burn the Pages and Elastic Heart – despite the video controversy – I’ll be keeping this album on repeat for a little while yet.

2. Milkybar mini eggs!
With Easter creeping up on us, it only seemed appropriate to treat myself multiple times to these little white chocolate delights. I haven’t had these since I was very young and so not only are they extremely nostalgic, they’re damn right tasty!

3. No7 Hot Cloth Cleanser
In this bitterly cold weather, I’m a sufferer of dry skin. It’s shit. Thankfully as a boots employee, I can enjoy all this beautiful sunscreen for a fraction of the cost . This cleanser not only leaves my skin feeling SUPER clean when used with a muslin cloth, but also seems to be eradicating my dry skin. No7 to the rescue!

4. L’oreal Sculpt Collection
This brand new range from L’oreal is contour heaven. I purchased the Infallible Sculpt set in fair and the Blush Sculpt in Bronze, and when used together my face has new angles I’ve never even seen before! The contour kit took some getting used to- I’ve only ever used contour powder before and this is a cream – its harder to blend and such but luckily my extensive real techniques collection helped me through! With regards to the blush, its easy to overuse it. The orangest colour does indeed come out quite orange so I’ve made sure to sweep it across my face ever so gently and then using the highlighter just on the tops of my cheekbones. Fab all round though!

5. (The return of) Gogglebox
Everyone’s favourite families are back! I absolutely love Gogglebox and always compare me and my boyfriend to Leon and June. A couple of new families are making appearances this series so we all have to keep our eyes peeled for their best bits but as always every moment has me near crying with laughter. The beauty of it is that I can always talk to someone about it the next day and laugh just as much remembering the funniest parts. Still thinking my house should apply…. they need students!

Can we talk about Kanye West

Can we talk about this? This stupidly annoying idiot who thinks the sun shines out more orifices than just his arse. Now of course I’m not talking about Mark Zuckerberg <3, I’m finally taking the reins and talking about Kanye goddamn West.

I firstly have a couple of issues;

  1. What a fucking stupid name.
  2. Given his stupid name, only seems appropriate to give your children sensible names, right? Oh, no. I’m apparently WRONG.
  3. No one gives two shits about your so-called ‘debt’ when you’re married to a multi-million dollar ‘celebrity’ and treated other people like crap along the way.
  4. If you’re really that broke, Marky Z ain’t gonna help ya. He didn’t even help his bezzie Saverin.
  5. Don’t be hatin’ on Zuck. EVER.
  6. OK, so this is obviously more than a couple of issues but you get the idea.

Surely someone of his status, he should be inspiring generations to tackle important issues; race, wealth, health, feminism etc. He shouldn’t asking a pal- whose birthday he got wrong may I point out- to lend you $53 million cause you’re always in need of attention.

I just don’t understand why he views himself as such a visionary- okay, he’s worked hard to get where he is but in today’s world, who hasn’t? I know there are a lot of Kanye lovers out there- yes, I did buy Yeezus (and it was shit)- but I’d love to know why he’s adored by so many. Golddigger was a tune I’ll admit, as was American Boy, but if we actually look at both of those- oh! They’re both in collaboration with two greater talents.

I can’t offer a solution to Kanye’s arrogance, nor can I offer $53 million to help him. But, and this is a big but, I can suggest that we question those who love Mr. West. The next time you hear a baggy trousered, Beat wearing, Adidas-clad millennial who claims to love him, just ask why. They probably won’t know.

 

That Scottish life

Howya keepin wee man? Alreet?

As the child of two Scots, I’ve lived a rather different life than those of my peers. Although I was born in the great West Sussex town of Crawley (perhaps not so great if you’ve actually been there and experienced it), it’s safe to say my upbringing was wholly a Scottish experience. From knowing bunker over worktop and baffies over slippers, to drinking Irn Bru like it’s water, I’d consider myself to be a proud wee Scottish bairn.

My vocabulary is likely to be the first thing that most newcomers to my social circle will notice; I’ve learnt more from my family about the Scottish lexicon than I have ever learnt from reading a dictionary. Scots are so passionate with their words, and although I don’t have a Scottish accent I can pull one off with such ease you’d think I was from Fife. I once did a whole university presentation in a relatively ‘weak’ Fife accent and nobody in the class really knew I was a southerner! There are literally hundreds of words in my lexicon which are Scottish, but my favourite would have to be those that no one else bar Scots can pronounce such as dreich /driːx/ ‘miserable/bleak (weather)’ and stour /stuːr/ ‘dust/a cloud of dust’. The best list of Scottish vocab can be found here

Once I mastered the language, the food came next. As you should be aware of, Burns night has just passed and this night celebrates the life of the traditional Bard by eating haggis, neeps and tatties, the only meal you’ll ever need to survive. If you don’t know what it is, be ashamed! The greatest combination of all things rank, it’s a pretty tasty meal overall.

After the food comes the entertainment. I can happily teach anyone any of the ceilidh dances, provided that you’re wearing the appropriate clothing- get those knees oot laddies! Still Game is an all time favourite of mine and can actually be found on Netflix- I try and watch it from time to time without complaint from my housemates that they need the subtitles on… I just tell them to “haud ye wheeest!

And before you ask, I’d have voted no.

Cheerio the now!

Stories of happiness

When the day has passed and the thoughts of the many hours which have graced your mind are collated, do you feel happy? It takes a lot these days for someone to be truly happy, and I am so glad to be one of those people today.

Today was the first day in a long time when I have felt overwhelming happiness. It wasn’t upon recollection of the day’s events, but instead about the moments in the future. My graduation, my postgraduate studies, my family, my boyfriend and maybe even some little kiddies and kittens which might appear somewhere along the way!

It was one of those moments that I had to myself, alone in the quiet. It suddenly occurred to me that my life can be any way I want. Any path I wish to take, I can actually do it. I can have ice cream for dinner and I can publish my thesis in a year’s time. (Two equally exciting prospects!)

Tomorrow will be a different story I’m sure, but stories are interesting. Stories bring suspense, surprise and sometimes sadness. But these emotions as a whole form our lives. Some days are harder than others; sometimes I feel like I’m spinning away, making a mess in decisions (even if that decision is what to have for dinner). But then I remember, that there are many more moments of ecstasy, euphoria and elation to come in my life.

I dream about these stories of happiness and then, everything comes together again.